Seven Hurdles For New Writers: Number Four

The Curse of Unnecessary Words

Be Direct

Wandering through the wilderness of words is a no no.  It is easy to do, but DON’T do it.  As a writer, your goal is to communicate your story in a clear, clean, concise, and entertaining manner. 

  

NO:   He was beginning to get angry with his irresponsible sister.

YES: He was angry with his irresponsible sister.

NO:   “I’m fixin’ to start thinkin’ about buttering your cornbread!”

YES:  “I’m gonna butter yo’ cornbread!”

Avoid Useless, Repetitive Words

My two most abused useless words are “that” and “just.”

NO:   “I hope you don’t think that I’m intimidated by you.”

YES:  “I hope you don’t think I’m intimidated by you.”

NO:   Jeff gave himself just enough time to get ready before the concert started.  Shelby was nervous.  Jeff knew just how she felt.  If he could just get to the concert hall before her opening number, he just knew he could convince her to relax.

YES:  Jeff gave himself just enough time to get ready before the concert.  Shelby was nervous.  He understood how she felt, and if he arrived at the concert hall before her opening number Jeff knew he could convince her to relax.

Banish Adverb Vomit

Ah, adverb vomit--my phrase for the pointless peppering of adverbs throughout your manuscript.

When it comes to adverbs, just say no.  Seriously, say no.  Less is more.  Go team.  Goodnight, John-boy, and all that jazz.

Adverbs disrupt the flow of most sentences and they encourage you as the writer to “tell” instead of “show.”  Please use them with caution.  (Sparingly, even.  Lol)

GAG:         Leslie looked to him nervously.

BETTER:   Leslie stared at him, eyes wide and hands trembling.

As far as adverbs are concerned, when in doubt, leave it out.  Go through your manuscript with a red pen and unmercifully *grin* mark out every little word ending in “ly” you find.  Root them out.  Annihilate them.  Then go back and see how much smoother your text reads.  Trust me; you will be glad you did it.

Seven Hurdles For New Writers: Number Three

Dialogue Tags to Die for

God bless Nathan Bransford.  When I started writing, his blog provided information about dialogue tags and their proper use.  (If you are a newbie writer and you do not know who Nathan is, I suggest you Google, “Nathan Bransford blog” right now.  His site is a wealth of information.)

Dialogue tags are these little descriptive bits that help readers determine who is talking.  If my fuzzy memories of high school English are accurate, they are linking verbs.

     Example of a dialogue tag:

 “Bernadette is such a liar,” Jenny said. 

(See how Jenny is the subject, said is the verb, and your dialogue is essentially the direct object?  Dang!  I do remember a thing or two from high school.)

So, what is the deal with dialogue tags?  Simply put, get them right and your dialogue flows smooth and clear.  Get them wrong, and you stinketh up your manuscript.

Grammar and punctuation aside, let me offer the two most basic principles about dialogue tags:

1.  Verb after subject works best.  (This one is a bit subjective since I have seen some very successful writers ignore this rule.)  As a reader though, having the subject/verb placement backwards in a dialogue tag really bugs me.

     Example:

“Bernadette is such a liar,” said Jenny.  (“Said” is the verb; “Jenny” is the subject.)

To me, flipping the subject/verb order makes the sentence sound kinda robotic or snooty.  Take it for what it is worth.  *grin*

2.  Keep it simple.  (I think this is the number one rule for dialogue tags.)

     Example:

“You make me laugh,” Tammy said.

See how the dialogue tag in this sentence is simple and straightforward?  It almost blends into the background—becomes invisible.  That is the goal.  Get the reader to focus on the dialogue and use the tag only when needed to help the reader understand who is speaking.  The less noticeable the tag, the better.

     Examples of sucky dialogue tags:

“You make me so mad,” she said angrily.

“Why,” he inquired.

“You’re the most stubborn person I’ve ever met,” she informed him with a shout.

“Well, you’re the one acting like a two year old,” he replied.

“Yet you’re the one sleeping on the couch tonight,” she ranted.

See how all those dialogue tags drain the life out that brief conversation?  They make it stilted and unrealistic.  Watch what happens to the same dialogue when we follow the “simple” rule about tags.

     Revised dialogue:

“You make me so mad,” she said.

“Why?”

“You’re the most stubborn person I’ve ever met!”

“Well, you’re the one acting like a two year old,” he said.

“Yet you’re the one sleeping on the couch tonight.”

 

The best rule of thumb regarding dialogue tags is to use them sparingly and to make them as invisible as possible.  Let the reader focus on your characters and their conversation, not on your dialogue tags.

Seven Hurdles For New Writers: Number Two

Number Two:  Make it Read Well

Newbies make mistakes.  Everyone does it.  How stuff sounds matters.  People have to think.  Sentences matter.  Length is important.  Vary for effect.  The same thing gets old.

Whew!  That made me tired.  Hopefully, you noticed how monotonous the above paragraph sounded.  Rule number two for more effective writing?  Readability.  Varying sentence length is essential to good writing because it improves the flow of your story.  It can be taxing for your reader if every sentence has the same or similar amount of syllables.  Varying sentence length helps keep things moving.  Seems like such a simple suggestion.  It works.

The best way to check the flow of your story is to read it aloud.  Trust your ear.  If it doesn't read easily--if there is no natural rhythm, considering revising.

Remember:  If there is no flow, it has gotta go.  (Cheesy, but true...)

Seven Hurdles For New Writers

Hurdle Number One:  SHOW, don't tell.

When I started practicing the craft of writing, this was the first piece of advice I heard from more seasoned writers.  Amateurs tell.  Authors show.

But telling is so easy.  Let's face facts.  Telling is easier, but is it better?  You be the judge:

TELLING:
Jenny became nervous.

SHOWING:
Jenny's hands trembled and a cold sweat dampened the back of her neck.

Which example would you rather read?  Which gives the clearer, more interesting picture?

This rule kicked my butt when I started writing.  I told everything.  I still find myself desiring the lazy way out of telling instead of showing.  I fight the "tell hurdle" every time I write.  Now, unless it slips past me, the only slack I give myself concerning this rule is if my story is in first person and it fits the personality of my main character, who is talking to the reader.  Otherwise, I try to catch those sloppy "tells" and rewrite them.  It takes time, but it is worth it.